Lucy
by Izobella Snow
Summary: Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her. I'd give up all the world to see that little piece of Heaven looking back at me. Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her. I've gotta live with the choices I made, and I can't live with myself today
1. Chapter 1

Lucy...

Edward POV

I walked slowly, deliberately, toward the headstone in front of me. I know it probably wasn't the best idea to come here; the pain would be too much, I told myself. But I had to. I had to see for myself.

_Hey Lucy, I remember your name..._

I closed my eyes and breathed through my nose to calm myself. Maybe when I opened my eyes, I'd be back at Forks High, with Bella holding my hand comfortingly in Mr. Berty's class. Watching Romeo and Juliet, just as we had been before I left.

My eyes creep open slowly.

_Isabella Marie Swan_

_Beloved daughter of Charles and Renee_

_1985-2003_

All of my breath _whooshes_ out of me as I lurch forward onto my hands. The words burn into my eyes, my heart.

_I left a dozen roses on your grave today  
>I'm in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away<em>

"Oh, Bella," I whisper in a hoarse voice full of regret and confusion.

_I just came to talk for a while, got some things I need to say_

"I didn't... I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear it, love." A violent sob ripped through me as I gripped the top of the headstone. It cracked loudly under my grasp. "I just meant for you to have a normal life. That's all I wanted. Why did you have to die... My beautiful Bella..."

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her_

My head snapped up. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't... If I could have just... I should have never talked to her! I should have never gotten so close! I roared as the rain started to pick up and pelt my cold skin. I wish it was harder. I wish it was fire. That way I could...

My eyes flashed open, making me realize that I'd closed them.

_I'd give up all the world to see  
>That little piece of Heaven looking back at me<em>

Leaning forward quickly, I kissed Bella's name before running quickly in the direction I needed to go.

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her_

This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair to Renee, not to Charlie, not to Bella. Especially not to Jacob. I could smell them all over that graveyard.

And I needed their help.

_I've gotta live with the choices I made  
><em>

My feet carried me quickly over the mud and bright green grass quickly. I ran faster than I ever have toward La Push.

_And I can't live with myself today_

She can't be alone, I thought. It's my fault she's dead. If only I hadn't pushed her to go to that party. If only I'd let her celebrate her birthday the way she wanted. She wouldn't be dead! This was all my fault!__

_Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday_

"Oh God, Bella, I am so sorry." Venom stings my eyes as I run, gathering from my tear ducts.

Water drips into my face from my hair as I run along the road, getting close to the border.

_They said it'd bring some closure to say your name  
>I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance<br>_

I know that they'll know as soon as I cross the line. They'll feel me, sense me. But that didn't matter. I wanted them to find me.

_But all I got are these roses to give  
>And they can't help me make amends<br>_

God, my beautiful Bella, I thought as my feet halted right before the invisible wall of La Push. The treaty state that if we came on their land, they had free reign to kill us... My food edged closer to the dirt.

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her  
><em>

"What are you doing, Bloodsucker?" an angry voice roared. "If you take one step, you're dead."

I heard the growl of a beast and looked up toward the sound. Three wolves, and Sam Uley.

"Jacob." I nodded toward the russet wolf with dull brown eyes.

_I'd give up all the world to see  
>That little piece of Heaven looking back at me<br>_

_You killed her. You _killed_ her._ He thought violently, bombarding me with images of a broke Bella. Lifeless. Bones. _She was barely living because of you. She was just a body. _Only_ a body._ Suddenly, Bella's scream filled the air, and I fell to my knees, covering my eats at the sound. It took me only a moment to realize he was showing me her death.

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her  
>I've gotta live with the choices I made<br>And I can't live with myself today_

"No, no, please," I begged, but he went on.

_DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU DID?_ He yelled frantically in his mind, as his mental self drug Bella's truly lifeless body out of the wild waves. Her eyes were a faded brown, almost white like the rest of her. He held her into his chest wailing her name in agony. He gripped her hair and pushed his mouth onto hers.__

_Here we are, now you're in my arms  
>I never wanted anything so bad<br>_

_I loved her too! And your memory stole her away from me!_ he snarled as he pulled away from her in his mind. He sobbed over her body for a while before removing his hands; her hair came out onto his hand and he gagged, disgusted at me. All of his thoughts dug into my frozen heart like the sharpest stake.

_Here we are for a brand new start  
>Living the life that we could've had<em>

"I want to make you a deal!" I growled in desperation, trying to escape his mind. But he wouldn't let me. Memory after memory of the pain she went through; all of her recklessness, all of the dull laughter, and then the pain on Charlie's face when he saw his dead daughter.

_You did that. You cause all of these people pain._ Jacob screamed at me through his mind.

"I said I came to make a deal!"

"What kind of deal would we offer you, after what pain you've caused?" Sam ordered.

_Me and Lucy walking hand in hand  
>Me and Lucy never wanna end<br>_

"I- I can't..." I squeezed my eyes shut tight, clamping my hands over my ears once again.

"Jacob! That's enough!" he barked.

Silence. Oh sweet silence.

"What do you want." he growled.

"I came to make a deal. You get what you want, I get what I want." His brow came up, telling me to keep going with his eyes. "I know that what I did was... Horrible. And I have no one to blame but myself. I know that all of this is my fault-" a snort came from the tan wolf flanking Sam. "- and I also know what you want most; Revenge. So I'm giving that to you. You can do it... Just kill me. I don't deserve to live... And I just... If there's any chance that I can be with her again, I'll take it; even if I never see her afterwards, I'll do anything."

_Just another moment in your eyes  
><em>

Jacob's eyes narrowed before they rolled back in his head. His form changed, shrinking slowly, the hair disappearing until he was back in his human form.

_I'll see you in another life in Heaven  
>Where we never say goodbye<br>_

"Fuck no. You deserve every ounce of pain you feel now. There is no way in hell I'm contributing into letting you see her again."

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her  
><em>

My whole body deflated, and I stood up, glaring at him.

"Maybe you should let the pack leader decide." I gritted through my clenched teeth.

"Maybe you should have never left. Maybe she'd still be alive right now!" I flinched; he let a few more memories through.

_I'd give up all the world to see  
>That little piece of Heaven looking back at me<br>_

"I can't kill you Edward." My eyes flicked to him. "That would be breaking the treaty. And I won't be the first one to do that."

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her  
><em>

My eyes narrowed at him.

"Be glad you don't have to be." I snarled.

"What do you-"

_I've gotta live with the choices I made  
>And I can't live with myself today<br>_

I threw my body across the invisible border and then... Everything goes black.

My eyes flutter slightly as I look up toward the bright light above me. Where was I? How am I still alive?

_Here we are, now you're in my arms  
>Here we are for a brand new start<br>_

I felt their teeth tearing me apart; I should be dead. I don't understand. Why am I still alive?

_I got to live with the choices I've made  
>And I can't live with myself today<br>_

"Edward..." she whispered. My eyes widened at the light. It started to move; change. What was it doing...

_Me and Lucy walking hand in hand  
>Me and Lucy never wanna end<br>_

"Oh, Edward." I heard again. No... It couldn't be... I must be... Hallucinating or something. It can't be her.

_I've got to live with the choices I've made  
>And I can't live with myself today<em>

The light flashed bright, and then slowly started to fade, leaving a figure standing in the way. The white dress hung off her sweetly, capturing the innocence in her eyes perfectly. Her auburn hair was pulled back in a white headband, and her bright, brown eyes stared into my soul longingly.__

_Hey Lucy, I remember your name_

"Bella..." I murmured, taking her in my arms, and gripping tightly. She pulled away from me, expressing her feelings through her eyes.

_I love you,_ she thought.


	2. Lucy

Okay, so, here's the deal. I have 3 things that I'd like to talk about/clear up

1) I've had 2 or 3 questions on the name of the Fuck Fiction so far.

Question 1) "Who the ** is Lucy?"

This link right here should clear that right up:

.com/watch?v=d7sjrjiOYYQ

Question 2) "This is based on Skillet's Lucy isn't it?"

Yess, it is based on that song. I was listening to it the other day, and the idea just hit me. The whole thing took about 10-25 minutes to write. I didn't even look it over. I just posted it; I wanted to post the raw version, so sorry for any grammatical errors.

2) I have another one-shot that I created that's almost exactly like this one. It's called Thunder. Along with that, I have an ongoing story called Crimson Doves. I've decided not to update until I have at least 5 reviews, so please go check it out. It would mean a lot to me.

3) I need a new Beta. I love Khaos (Irrevocably Obsessed) but lately she's been involved in other activities. So I'd appreciate if anyone came forward to help me with my writing. Please and thank you.

Thanks for reading guys!

_**Snow**_


End file.
